Quantum Qorner: Space-time Bender

post details top
May 20th, 2011
post details top
Quantum Qorner:
The Science of Tomorrow Applied Today

Space-time Bender

Quantum Gravity in a bottle: Trappist Beer unlocks secret to anti-gravity 

Formulation means it’s near impossible to fall over

But mind you don’t lose your head! (and beware of Graviton Reflux) 

Special Report by Science Editor Round A.Bout.  Reprinted with the permission of GreyTownGazette.com.

The Flying Trappist Artists

Poechenellekelder , Brussels, Fri May 20th:

It’s the Holy Grail of Beer Science: a beer that not only tastes good but prevents you falling over

The brew is the result of over 25 year’s of dedicated research by a reclusive group of Trappist Monks. Using just simple brewing technology and pure ingredients the monks have succeeded where countless physicists with their supercomputers, billion dollar cyclotrons and coal mines full of dry cleaning fluid have failed: they’ve managed to successfully unify Einstein’s General Relativity with Quantum Mechanics and in the process discover a genuinely useful application

The new process – trademarked ‘Enlitenment‘ – instills their beer with an amazing property: it enables it’s drinkers to defy gravity (more…)

Stuck in the Quantum Tunnel

post details top
Dec 12th, 2010
post details top

Quantum Qorner:
The Science of Tomorrow Applied Today

Alcohol Induced Teleportation Part II: Stuck in the Quantum Tunnel

Special Report by Science Editor Round A.Bout

(Article reprinted from The Grey Town Gazette December 2010 Issue)
Floris Garden, Brussels, Sat Dec 11th:

Beam me up Scotty!

Preliminary experiments in September had produced enticing early evidence that spicy tomato juice might be the vital ingredient needed to facilitate that Holy Grail of quantum science: controlled Alcohol Induced Teleportation

To test the theory a special team of experts was assembled from across the globe and the group descended on the Testing Range at Floris Tequila, Brussels to conduct the experiment. Your correspondent was flattered and privileged to be invited to participate. (more…)

Good Allan, Bad Allan – The Enemy Within

post details top
Sep 13th, 2010
post details top

Double Trouble: Unintended Consequences

Quantum Qorner:
The Science of Tomorrow Applied Today

Good Allan, Bad Allan – The Enemy Within

Absinthe Teleportation Experiment creates bizarre result

Calculation error results in Double Trouble

Special Report by Science Editor Round A.Bout

(Article reprinted from The Grey Town Gazette November 2010 Issue)

Floris Garden, Brussels, Sat Sept 4th:

It’s a story that’s sure to become as familiar to future generations of science students as that of Schrödinger’s cat.

History has shown that many of the great boundary-pushing experiments in science have been conducted by gifted amateur scientists – Darwin, Franklin, et al – and this is no exception.

An adventurous experiment in Alcohol Induced Teleportation(AIT) resulted in a bizarre outcome this weekend. Renowned bon vivant and part time quantum scientist Allan Carter bravely used himself as a human guinea pig in his quest to push the boundaries of man’s understanding of alcohol-quantum phenomena by being the first person to try to attempt a controlled absinthe-induced point-to-point teleport.

(more…)

Drink Induced Time Dilation Effect

post details top
Jun 14th, 2006
post details top

Quantum Qorner:
The Science of Tomorrow Applied Today

DT = t / ( 15v * square(AI))

Drink Induced Time Dilation Effect
– or, the bits missing from Einstein’s General Relativity

Sorry to start talking quantum mechanics before we’ve even started drinking (although this inversion of cause and effect could in itself be proof that serious drinking is definitely going to happen), but I’ve been pondering the subject of how time becomes increasingly compressed in proportion to the volume of alcohol consumed.

I shan’t bore you with my highly scientific analysis, but here are my conclusions:

1. Start drinking as soon as you can, because you will almost certainly run out of time later (although it has been known for the bar to run out of stock first, but that’s a different problem…)

2. The reason you can’t remember anything about the evening after a certain time is that after a certain volume the evening ceases to exist.

(more…)

Search

Twitter

Facebook

Popular Topics


Warning: Use of undefined constant taxonomy_exists - assumed 'taxonomy_exists' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /homepages/3/d854345934/htdocs/clickandbuilds/TheBeerTrip/wp-content/plugins/nktagcloud/inc/page.php on line 68
Facebook