Synchronised Hurling in Dallas Texas (1993 or 1994)

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Jun 7th, 2006
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Speaking of Dallas …

We first ventured into Dick’s Last Resort in Dallas. A yearly trade show in Dallas and a legendary pub crawl where you didn’t really crawl so much between different pubs, as much as you crawled out of Dick’s at the end of the night and tried to make your way back to the hotel.

I’ve spent a number of evenings with friends at Dick’s in Boston and in Chicago, but there was something about those Dallas experiences.

The drink of choice was Mamba Beer, a strong lager brew from Africa. I don’t remember the Mamba being especially good, it was just strong, and came in a 25 oz. bottle … and this was during the quantity over quality days. (Now days, it’s quality and quantity … not either or.)

Al and I had consumed mass quantities of Mamba, and it was nearing closing time. Our trade show “father”, Father John, hoped to see us on booth duty the following morning, so he started the work to migrate us back to the hotel.

Al and I exited the front door, and raced around the corner, only to find an open air bar that was still serving. Al slapped his hand on the bar and called out, “Two shots of something tough and a couple of beers to chase them.”

That was my first and last meeting with Don Q 151 rum.

As we tipped back the shots, the color drained from our faces. Al put his head down at the bar, while I stumbled toward the sidewalk to take a closer look at the shrubbery.

As Father John searched the streets of Dallas for us, he could hear the stereo sound of synchronized vomiting (which I believe was an experimental Olympic event that year).

As I stumbled back toward the bar, Al through his arms in the air and proclaimed, “I’m cool!”

The Green Bay Packers were in town, and a cheesehead lady proclaimed, “You most definitely are not.”

A short Mexican leprechaun emerged from nowhere with a hose and sprayed down the damage. (I’m pretty sure he was a Mexican leprechaun, because we called him Hosè.)

“See what you made him do?” exclaimed the cheesehead.

Al may not have been feeling 100% at the time, but his wit remained quick: “Right, he was in the back, inventing a cure for cancer, and I interrupted him! I can see him back there now … I was this close, and now I’ve got to go hose down the vomit again!”

Ah … memories … so many stories about hurling in Dallas … so little time.