Another Sad Frank and Beans Story…

post details top
Jun 11th, 2006
post details top

Suddenly, as Skippy (the Skip-meister as we call him) came wandering through the vestibule, he was shot dead.

The bullet had come from nowhere, it seems, but oh, what a mess it made. It had struck him square in the mouth, causing an avalanche of tooth and jawbone fragments to rocket across the foyer into the lap of a job interview candidate named Missy.

Skippy howled, as best he could with his face hanging, well, out of his face, and scared everyone shitless. He writhed and bucked with blood shooting out of his face like a fountain, until he finally lay there still, in a pool of blood.

Missy was so surprised and disgusted, the vomit literally exploded from her face, catapulting the retainer from her mouth and putting the eye out the receptionist seated nearby.

Yes, she had been on an all-hotdog and bean diet, and YES, that did stink…the stink of the dead I think it’s often referred to. The receptionist arose and ran for the door…God only knows why, but tripped over the chainsaw wielding drawf who was trimming the bushes. He cut her in half at the knees…her lower legs left standing in mid-stride, while her torso broad-jumped onto the hood of a parked car where it lay motionless, giving the hood of the car what looked like one of those flame-front paintjobs.

Why did it have to happen on the day I wore my lucky suit? The rich, velvety dark crushed velvet fabric was just covered, no permeated, with the remains of Missy’s lunch. I am still amazed to this day how she leapt across the room, and started sucking the vomitus from the fabric…kind of makes you sick, eh?